no regrets.

stress.

words.

work.

lines.

running.

Time running out.

...

only months left.

so little time remains to live the life I still feel like I just started.

A year ago..

I would have never imagined.

A year ago.

My life was completely different.

Then I chose to change it all.

I dont regret.

I miss.

But I dont regret a single thing.

The people I have met the places I have gone.

All stream from a few simple decisions..

decisions that Ill spend the rest of my life being thankful I made.

collge.

Months away.

In a few short months

Ill be in a completely new place living a completely new life.

things will be different

feel different

the friendships I have spent this year making wont even be close to me anymore.

were they a waste?

never.

not a single person I met this year is a waste.

we meet people for a reason

everyone has an effect in our life

The people you meeet

effect who you are.

I would not change a thing about my life.

I am today  who I am

because of everything I have chosen and gone through...

days of adventures..

days of people in my life..

days of nothing..

it all served purpose.

It makes me realize that when I become upset that I missed out on something.. why? I obviously wasnt meant to be there.

Should I choose to the thing I will regret missing the most or the thing I KNOW I should choose.

I always struggle with that.

the before decision.

and if ill choose the right one.

I get nervous.

I always end up where I am supposed to. I cherish each memory.

Im not ready to graduate.

But I also cant wait.

Time is flying to fast.

Im not ready to deal with IT WILL BE OVER.

the last time for everything.

No regrets.

:)

I want to jump out of a plane.

I want to backpack through EUROPE.

Im impatient.

I want those things to happen right now.

I want to buy a hippie van.

I want to sleep in my hippie van on the beaches of california.

I want to truly understand and experience freedom.

I want to live IN PEACE.

peace.

I always crave peace.

I want to be satisfied with my life and know each moment was a beautiful one and that each word I spoke influenced and sunshined... a life :)

hah

sunshined its a verb.

I want to be best friends withe veryone haha

well that will never happen

but my mindset of that leaves me unsatisfied constantly haha

I sometimes wish i could pause time.

thats a huge lie.

I ALWAYS wish I could pause time.

IMAGINE

I would be so superior to the human race. If I could even only sleep when pausing time. I would always have energy.

hahah well. that and time travel.

fantasy that i always get stuck on haah.

Oh man.

In less than seven months..

CALIFORNIA.

I dunno if I have fully realized that is happening.

I have almost convinced myself that its not.

That the world will end before I get there or something

But at the same time I CANT WAIT.

Its a mixed emotion.

Haha.

oh Azusa

I think ill like it more than I think.

LIKE OKAY

a year from now..

ill be saying

prolly in this blog thing that I currently have because my lack of new techonologies is worse than you think and once i got something like this down im not so keen on changing it :)

i hope nothing more than facebook comes out.

Ill struggle

anyway

ill be saying

" A YEAR AGO I WOULD HAVE NEVER IMAGINED LIFE WOULD BE LIKE THIS..."

I can pretty much predict that to the exact words.

If I know myself well enough to know alot will happen and I cant wait.

I really enjoy change...

minus technological changes.

I would rather not have technology and be writing this on paper hah.

but well im not which could make me a hypocrite but ohhh welllll.

I have started to embrace change.

I have no worry for when things dont go how I planned them in my head.

I realize how RARELY things go the way I planned them in my head and when I decide not to worry it all goes better anyway..

surprises are the best :)))))

hahah welll my second rant for the night.

In themood.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

LIVE :)

My Prayer.

This, this

why do I keep choosing this.

Hypocritical.

FALLING :).

and confused.

If I was supposed to be going up

where am I going now?

down?

Is it possible to stand still?

Is it possible to hit pause on God?

I never thought so.

But then I sit in church and He comes full on right back to me.

I dont have to beg.

I just have to bring myself forward to hear.

to receive.

He is sooo ready to give.

I know that.

Then why is it so hard for me to put myself in the receiving moood? its not hard.

Prayer?

worship.

a single moment.

I never want to lose who I am or what I am fighting for.

YOU wait.

I distract myself.

Perfect in every way...

every way.

This wouldnt just come along for no reason.

How could I have chosen different?

How could I choose different now?

I DONT WISH TOO.

its the one thing I wouldnt give up for you.

I would give you everything but this...

hypocritical.

I continuely say I would give up everything to follow God.

I would leave.

I would get rid of it all.

I am confident that I would..

Except for this...

this one thing.

God....

why?

why now?

You should have waited.

This timing is perfect but weird..

it all happens for a reason..

I know.

So why are you closing other doors?

I can see the ones you have opened..

thank you.

You always come through in funny surprising ways.

Let me talk about you.

Let me not be afraid.

Let me share.

Give my words and heart purpose in its steps in and out of this.

please God dont let distractions prevail to lead me away but to encourage me into your kingdom bringing others I care about with me.

You are solid.

You wont move.

I can see myself with you.

just not at this moment.

why?

why.. does it leave? the high...

the feeling the passion the push for you and your glory constantly in my life.

I am never satisfied.

never do I feeel like its enough

Moments of perfection are followed with moments of realizing I missed out..

thats stupid.

why cant I just be at peace with every moment that exists in my life.

obviously I cant change them

Obviously I cant go back

wishing backwards doesnt benefit anyone.

Be glad for where you were and where you are.

What if its not where I am supposed to be.

what if I end up regretting everything?

I wont :)

regretting is silly.

You learn

always learning

some things that needed to be learned take longer than others..

haha so its alright.

we are all learning

all going through something

my life feels perfect.

yet im not content with my lack of care for people at the current moment.

I want to care more.

I want my hands to be your hands GOD hands of love reaching out to the world :)))

I want to touch the world.

starting now.

Why cant I??? please.

Thanks for you obvious answers.

I need them.

If it werent for you.. being so obvious... I would begin to question.

I think we should question.

My current questioning of my GOD brought me to even deeper realizations of his truth.

HAHA  OH GoD. how you are always there. you never give up...

Even when I am being a rebellious child.

rebellion as in not wanting to listen to what you are CLEARLY telling me to do.

haha thanksss for the way you put it all together.

always.

thanks for the feeling in my stomach.

thanks for checking up on me like a father.

You are my standard.

I wouldnt have it anyother way.

as usual.

I beg for peace.

YOUR PEACE :)

is all I want.

its all I need.

You are everything.