It is CHRISTMAS.

So last night I asked God to make me excited for Christmas like when I was a child.

And what does he do?

Wakes me up before seven because I am excited.

I love it.

I feeel five again.

Last night right before I went to bed I did what I have done every year since I remember..

I went into the living room and just stood there.

It was dark in the room except for the Christmas tree that looked very bright.

All the presents were wrapped under the tree.

The room felt still

at peace.

I think about the anticipation for morning.

How as a young kid the hours could not go faster until it was time to start opening gifts.

Getting older is funny.

My focus is different.

Today I am excited to see family and spend time with them.

I already got my presnt A trip to Australia which is better than anything that could be put under a tree.

Of course my parents are too much and have gotten me a few things anyway.

I am so blessed.

I deserve nothing.

But they love me.

and I love them!

Thank you God for the family you have given me and the friends in my life.

Last night at the Christmas service

(at Calvary which I loved by the way)

I went with my dad and Laura.

God really spoke to me about Mary.

Mary was so pure and genuine.

I do not know if she was "perfect" or anything but I do know she was special and chosen by God.

He put a baby inside of her and she was still a virgin.

Im sorry but if someone was pregnant and told me that happened to them I dunno if  I would belive them.

People had to have judged her like crazy.

 I wonder if even her parents believed her.

I want to be like Mary.

 I want to have a pure heart that God can use for his crazy things in this life.

I want to be so sure of my relationship with the Lord that I dont worry about what other people think of me.

Especially when it is something he is calling me to do.

I long to be called in a unique way.

God is good.

He calls us.

Even when we mess up.

He never gives up on his plan for us even if we take a slight detour.
He is a forgiving God.

He loves us.

Today my prayer has been for peace and love to overwhelm everyone I know.

Kinda a big prayer.

I know God is capable.

Today is a beautiful day to celebrate the birth of the one who has saved us.

HE saved us.

Thats a pretty big deal.

I feel like I always say something regarding God on Christmas but sometimes its cuz its wat I am supposed to do.

This time is different.

I am thankful.

I have many reasons to be thankful to the Lord.

Ill never understand what sending his son felt like for him.

until maybe I have kids one day.

I do realize that its BIG though.

To send your one kid for a world of broken underserving people.

Today we need to humble ourselves realizing we are sinful and God loved us anyway. Thats what Christmas shows I think.

God loves us.

Thats what it is all about.

So be thankful and spread the love He has given you with your family and everyone in your life today.

Thats what I am feeling challenged to do.

Spread the love. :)

HAVE A GREAT DAY

and
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Surreal.

Indescribable.

This experience... more than I could have asked for.

God had definitely predistined me to be here.

I remember the day he told me when I was fifteen.

When I sit and realize I am actually sitting in AUSTRALIA

the place my God has put much desire on my heart for years...

it all overwhelms me.

It is truly surreal.

I have seen things in just a few days that people only WISH to see in their lifetime.

I have swam feet from wild dolphins..

a wallaby has touched me!

I scared the POOP out of a WOMBAT!

haha

and days ago I was unaware that wombats even existed.

I have hiked in mountains that I want to feeeel forever.

I have seeen views of the Australian ocean that have only seen by many in pictures.

I have made friendships that will be in my life forever.

Even better

I have made family.

I have stoppped taking pictures and keeeping track of everything I am doing.

Which often would stress me out but I have the overwhelming peace that I will be back :)

Tonight God was goood.

God is always good.

Tonight He very lovingly gave us a glimpse of his eternal perfection in a time of unplannned expressive worship :)

It was beautiful...

I realize I could talk to God for hours.

I did.

I long to stick with that and not go anywhere but deeeper in love with him and follow in the plan He already has.

I feeel direction :)

I cant wait.

I cant wait for tomorrow.

I cant wait to get home and share what God has done.

I cant wait to seee the plans he has for me and to not be afraid because He is holding my life and in him I can not fail.

He is strong.

In him I have strength and faith to do anything.

I wish to follow him.

I wish to be where he leads me.

I wish to listen to Him above everything.

I dont want to just live life according to how its supposed to be lived according to the world but according to God's purpose even if its not very.. normal :)

Proverbs 19:21

"For the plans of a man are many, but the purpose of the Lord prevails."

something like that.

Its from memory and its late.

Today I went to Hillsong church.

Kinda a big deal :)

and we got to see the Christmas Spectacular.

It was great.

But I missed New Vintage.

You know your at the right church when you are at the most famous christian church in the world and you miss your small movie theatre church at home.

I miss you.

I cant wait to spend time with you.

God has spoken into my life in mighty ways.

He is real.

He is Big.

He can do the impossible.

Dont believe in any less.

Know that there is more.

Always.

I asked God why it is always so much more fulfilling when I talk to him compared to when I am just living life...

sounds like a dumb question but I asked it anyhow.

He said because He is the only true answer that will fill that hole in my heart.

"Then why doesnt everyone come to you, God?"

"Because, Amber Marie Buchanan, No one has told them what I can really do. You havent told them what I can really do."

Everyone is searching for something...

always.

God is the final answer and he doesnt stop there he gives you INCREDIBLE purpose to live forward and with that you will never be dissatisfied with your life.

Peace. that is beyond understand.

peace.

to live in peace.

I realize its been awhile.

Peace feel good.

God is good.

Have a beautiful day :)

start you day of wonderful give the the creator of the world a chat about life!

Australia Adventure.

Ever entered a place and immediately felt like you belonged?

Amber enters Australia...

:)

YUP.

I arrived at the Sydney airport around 6am Monday morning.

This was before anyone else had arrived including Chris, The Attunga leader.

So.... I just chilled and people watched.

I love airports.

By the way spiderman was on  my flight from Seattle to L.A.

Here, I am minding my own business reading my book by Donald Miller and casually I look up as someone walks past and to my surprise ITS SPIDERMAN!!!! He had been sitting two rows in front of me the whole plane ride and I had no idea.

If you are confused to clarify it was a little boy dressed as spiderman :)

Anywho, As I come back from the bathroom with all my luggage a man who looks vaguely familiar walks briskly toward me saying my name.

ITS CHRIS!

He shakes my hand and gives me a hug.

Only having seen him from facebook it was kind of strange to be standing here with him IN PERSON.

We sat down in the coffee shop and waited for everyone else to get there.

Soon afer was ELLIE a 21 year old British girl :)

then CAROL a 19 year old girl from Alabama who is a cosmotologist.

Teresa and Victor from SWEDEN.

Jennifer from South Carolina who is 23 and graduating from college to be a pharmasist in the Spring

Mitchele, who looked way to familir due to our facebook friendship, a 23year old from Bellevue, WA

Then the NEW ZEALANDERS!... EMMA, CATHERINE, and MICAH
Emma goes to the UNI and is studying psychology, Cat has moved to Brisbane and has been there for almost a year and Micah is in the New Zealand Army.

Then there is a SIX interns all girls... ALL WONDERFUL.

Ill tell you about each of them as they come up and the people I have not told you about yet also.

My first hours in Sydney were amazing and surreal and I never even left the airport.

I sat and met each person as they arrived. Learning where they were from and how God had brought them here.

God is crazy.

I have had more beautiful conversations about the Lord in two days than I could ever Hope for.

I love it.

After many hours of retelling my life story :) and how my flight was... 14 hours of anticipation but enjoyable because I love flying with an unnatural passion.

WE FINALLY WENT OUTSIDE.

and...

IT WAS WARM

:)

summer.

Christmas... is summer.

haha.

and cars with the steering wheels on the other side.

This country is crazy. in the best possible way.

We didnt waste anytime ... we went STRAIGHT to the beach.

Changed into our swimsuits and started the barbeque.

We ate some lovely sausages from the barby

Wandered the beach got to know one another.

The water was cold but I went in to my neck anyway.

then...Just for giggles.

I got buried.

:)

It was nice... haha then Ashley

(an 18 year old from Texas planning to be a cosmetologist)

Also got barried next to me..

then Kim decided to join the fun.

An intern who is also from Texas.

As we all lie there unable to move or use our arms or legs.. Paul ( Chris' 21 year old son who just finished college planning to go into IT work)

He decides to jump over us!

After a few close calls and many jokes of sand ssnakes... we freed ourselves.

I still have Sand in my hair. haha

We relaxed and wandered some more then returned for a steak barbeque dinner.

Right on the beach.

It was the perfect day to have with lots of jet lag.

AND it wasnt overly populated with tourists. It was mostly people who live here that came to the beach we were on.

and I learned a new Australian term.

Budgie Smuggler. ahaha it is what you call a guy in a speedo!!

After Dinner we walked down the beach to catch the Farrie

We got distracted by the huge chrstmas tree and decided to take pictures thus missing the farrie and having to wait 45 minutes til the next one.

I have learned that time here in Australia is kinda irrelevent.

Things happpen when they happen

and relationship is more important than being on time.

People are not worried.

Worry is not a main focus.

Its something I neeed to learn.

It has been great having no clue what we are doing which it probably wouldnt matter if I did know because it changes due to whatever is happening anyway.

As Chris tells us we missed there farrie he then quickly exclaims that there is a suprise!

PENGUINS ON THE BEACH!

A BABY PENGUIN IS ON THE BEACH!

I didnt know that penguins lived in warm water.

It was adorable. There was some animal control lady there so we could not touch him but we named him Fletcher and called him as if he was our own anyway.

With our extra time due to waiting... we decide to adventure.

We find an icecream place and micah treats!

They had chocolate chili icecream.. it tasted like chocolate with alot of spicey haha.

We finally catch the farrie and find our way to the front of the boat.

For some reason I just keep picturing titanic in my head.

The seagulls race us the whole way there!

We meet some nice people from Perth who have traveled here for a chrsitian conference.

I would like to visit Perth it sounded fantastic :)

WE ARRIVE TO SEE THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE!!!!!!!!!

at night with all the lights...it was incredible.

To my dismay there is a big O for oprah all lit up on the bridge.

I leave america and come here and SO DOES OPRAH haha its hilarious.

Its like a huge deal that she is here people have I LOVE OPRAH TSHIRTS ON EVERYWHERE!

We walk down to a doc with a wonderful view of the opera house.

Chris takes most the interns with him to get the car and unload the luggage at the hostel then plans to return.

As they walk away I lie down..the next thing I remember is them waking me up.

apparently an hour had passed by.

Mitchele told me I would make a great Hobo.

I took that as a high compliment. :)

I had fallen asleep on the ground right next to the Sydney Opera House... oh gosh.. magic moment of my life.

Then to the next best thing of my life.

A Hostel.

I dunno if its cause its a hostel or cuz its a hostel in Australia but It was awesome.

The whole idea of hostels is brilliant. sleeping in aroom with a bunch of beds and community bathroom.

The tables all set up family style.

THEY EVEN HAD A GIVE AND TAKE!

it was like this whole shelf thing full of items that people have left behind that you can just TAKE for free.

and you can leave anything you dont want to take with you.

I found some black leggings!

pretty legit.

I took a million pictures of the hostel. I loved it.

I never wish to stay in a hotel again.

and there was free postcardds....:)

I went to sleeep quickly and slept wonderfully.
woke up.. showered...

ate breakfast with the group.

tried VEGEMITE on my toast... with VICTOR

it was GROSSS

so salty hahah

victor being all swedish was not too fond of it either.

after eating in the hostel you wash your own dishes...

brilliant yet again.

This place was so cute.

I didnt want to leave.

We all decided to venture out.
Free to do what we wanted to do.

Most of the girls... which is a majority of our group headed to the mall called Broadway.

Me being amber didnt have much interest in a shopping mall.

SO... Jennifer and I headed back down to by where the Opera house was and hunted for some prime souevinour shops. :)

We wandered ... acting like tourists taking pictures of everything and noticing a street performer with a twelve foot tall unicycle.

We decide to stop and watch

It was hilarious!

He was insane 12 feet in teh air on his unicycle juggling FIRE, A KNIFE, and a bat that a small boy named casper tossed him.

We then run into Chris at starbucks and we get to go up into his IT office and look at the SPECTACULAR VIEW!!!!

Finding our way back to the hostel when we were all supposed to meet was.... hilarious... Me and Jennifer got lost... but both of us have adapted the australian way and were not worried about it.

While aimlessly walking guessing that we were headed in the right direction we literally STUMBLE upon the bus we need.

And we were not the last ones back :)

WE planned to get out of the city early due to OPRAH Show that was being filmed at the Opera house they were closing off streets. it is just to out of hand.

If it was Ellen I could understand I guess.

We all munch on the carmel corn that Michael Polvi made me.

Many high compliments regarding its taste!

We pile into the vans and drive a bit over an hour to THE BLUE MOUNTAINS.

IT IS BEAUTIFUL.

The mountains are covered in trees.

My explorer senses were tingling.

As we arrive we come right to the next hostel.

Love it.

Free internet..

thus the blogging.

Spaghetti dinner.

adding new friends on facebook

still feeling jet lagged we decide to have a relaxed night.

carrot cake :)

I have never felt so satisfied with my life

At home I have this continual problem of always feeling like I need to be doing something or I will miss out.

Here..I am pleased every moment that I am here and I am in awe of how Good GOD IS!

I love this adventure.

kayla so many things that make me think of you!

I took a picture of an australian hippie van salt shaker.. still looking for the real thing!

This country doesnt seeem THAT much different than the U.S.

Just funnier slang, cooler scenery, PENGUINS, and the whole driving on the wrong side of the road.

hahah

Adventure is life here.

I love that.

We really have not done that much yet and I am already extremely pleased and feel like the cost was worth it!

God has put a good group together and we only have great adventures in front us.

Sad to be missing the fun at home.

But, I am here and I dont regret.

:)

I love you have a goood day!

Kaden Mathis....

even though he's kind of a loser, i love him with all my heart :) !

A day in the life of Amber.

Tuesday, November 30th 2010

6:00a.m. awoken unnecessarily by my own conscience.

Went peee

got back in my nice warm bed just in time to hear a distant alarm going off in my room.

I suspect it is the same alarm that goes off every day at 5:48p.m.

An old phone that is hiding somewhere in my room that I have been unable to find for months.

quickly I fall back into slumber

but not for long enough

7:30 - alarm clock time

8:10 - watch time

and

7:10 - real time

the alarm goes offf for reals.

As you can see I have some trouble with keeeping the correct time.

I proceed to press snooze three times and evenutally am forced up by a final alarm from my phone at 8am that I was unaware was set but sure was glad it went off.

8:02-leave my bed

8:05-shower

8:10-get out of shower

wash face, lotion tattoo, scrounge for warm clothes

settle on a young life tshirt with my brown colorado state sweatshirt that I got for a buck at a yardsale :)

I run out to start my car.

I am kinda surprised by the amount of snow that has collected.

I didnt even know it had snowed last night but everything was covered white even more than the day before!

8:23- a text from Rachel telling me the roads are bad.

Goood ill have an excuse for why I am late for school.

Cuz I was definitely on the track to being late.

8:25 ate cinnamon roll.

8:30 mommmmm callls.

lick frosting off napkin.

take four seconds to do hair cuz well I dont actually care.

add socks. one pink. one orange.

layer.

8:39- finally in car. on any normal day this would be fine but on a day such as today with ... snow it was not enough time!

Drive/Slide down street. just to realize I forgot my lunch.

I attempt to turn around.

doesnt work out so well so I continue on... becoming hungry.

traffic is slow.

excuse me.

Annette Ruane is slow ;)

she was very cautious as I drove behind her on the way to school

It was probably gooood. lol

I arrrive to school just as the tardy bell rings.

good.

AHhh the Nov (mrs. Novy my consumer ec teacher) will be fine lol

I sludge my way into school.

becoming very distracted by the color of the snow on the ground.

it was strangely red?

I should not have taken my knitting out of my satchel cuz I need Mary Kay to help start it again.

Said Hello to Isaish and Talia as they passed out stuff

informed D. Waite that I STILL have his grandpa sweater.

and discussed with Maddi her hate for snow.

Late for class as predicted Novy was fine :)
I even got to sit by Justine which doesnt always happen!

We chatted and I read the Frankenstein I had to have read by today while we watched Dave Ramsey.

9:20-Done reading.

9:21- blow my nose.

Novy starts talking... when she talks I have this tendency to space out.

I would rather be sleeping.

Justine and I become upset becaue Mrs. Novy suggests that we might be doing an assignment in this class that sounds like some kind of hard work. I dont actually forsee that happening.

Girl in front of me looks up Hobbs High School.

I could have sworn it said Hobo High School.

hahah sabrina :)

12 days til Australia.

PRETTY SURE SHE JUST said we should have alot of cats.

"Woah, How long was I asleep?" Austin Stephens.

She let us out of consumer early.

Its funny how two minutes earlier changes routine so much. I saw different people then usual. I saw the same people in different places. it was weird lol

saw Kayla WATSON and Harmony tagg.

Attacked AMETHYST FOR HER BIRTHDAY :)))

hugged and chatted with the lovely foreign ;) hannah donhdt (those letters in some order)

LOVE YOU GIRLIE!

hehehe

Talked with Bridgid.

we discussed our dislike for school.

we laughed.

we always laugh.

I miss seeing her daily.

For more than just fifth period.

I actually facebook creeeped on her last night and looked at all her pictures but I didnt tell her that today. haha

Talked with Amber mann about our sadnesss for young life being cancelled.

Then SHELBY LONG huggged us both. classic amber sandwhich hug.

As I enter class I realize ZACH STOTT is not there!! its very upsettting.

How am I supposed to get through psychology without zach?!?!

10:13- I decide to be useful and work ahead.

then I fall asleep for the rest of class.

Second day in a row.

Its becoming a habit.

Lunch.

Had to buy lunch since I forgot mine.

But I was pleased to see RAVIOLIA!!!!

:) and rice.

so that made me happy.

plus pears and chocolate milk for the low low price of 3 dollars :)

its only my third time getting lunch at school so I often get confused still hah

Run into Polvi

HE GIVES ME THE BEST THING EVER!

Martinellis apple juice in a circular plastic bottle.

If you have had them you know what I am talking about. They are so goooood! and cute :)

THen we headed to buddy club to eat with Eugene, taylor and Lisa :)

It was a classy lunch.

I went to go to the bathroom.

There was a sign that said bathroom and I went in.

But it was NOT a bathroom.

I was so confused...

I felt like an idiot walking out two seconds later asking for a second time where the bathroom was.

Polvi informed me the concert is a go!

Eugene made all the shots toooday.

He should play basketball for sures!

i <3 Brianna Booth.

Get to ap lit.

Dan makes some comment about micheals jacket I just continue to live my life ignoring dan.

Connie is not there.

frustrating.

then BAM.

she walks in two minutes late.

vocab.

wish I could remember what I read.

oh well.

12 days til australia.

I'd rather be sleeping.

"The only thing that is consistent in life is change"
Dan Pak... what a crack up.

11:55- Tom Riddle is referred to. Mr. Porter only took 20 minutes to make a harry potter parallel.

I look in front of me and Connie has the perfect looking colored vocab paper she wrote out.

I look at mine. :)

scratches. haah I continually forgot stuff and scribbled stuff out.

Personality differences haha.

Glad I have a clear shot of Corwin.

He is often amusing.

Crap. I still dont have that monologue for next period memorized.

12:03- Dan Pak loud grunt laugh.

12:05- Connie starts up the accents.

Didnt take her too long ;)

I <3 Jean's hair.

My juice is gone!

when did that happen. upsetting.

"To not act is ironically an action"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NvgLkuEtkA

dont ask why this came up when I was talking to Connie and Kayla lol

"Who determines what ugly is"
Leaving class I chat with the CODY OLSEN

A lovely soul!

I HAVE A CUTE HUG with BEAUTIFUL TAYTE KOUSSA in the stairwell :) I havent seen her in like a week! its upsetting.

I <3 Maggie Jones.

I FINALLY GET THE HARRY POTTER BLOOD DRIVE THING. oh gosh k

I did not understand how harry potter and giving blood were even related but its callled the harry potter blood drive.

I was not planning to give blood. but NOW. hmmm its debatable. even though the thought of needles taking my blood makes me wish to vomit. for the good of mankind? perhaps I could.

This one smalll child probably a freshman who always talks to me says hello.

 I should probably learn his name.

He is a good person.

:)

I remember upon arriving into the drama room that duo scenes are today.

OF course Drew and I are first.

We actually did a good job.

Probably the best performance of our scene yet.

Except he set the paper on the floor and i picked it up off the chair lol.

oh well.

AP STATS.

:)

always classy.

Ralph told me this story about how when he went to the doctor today the doctor was talking then all of a sudden just stoppped... loooked around awkwardly and said, "Well i just forgot wat I was gonna say"

I thought that was really funny for some reason.

I ate and orange.

and the answer is yes my hands do still smell like oranges.

walking to sixth with Kenzie Rex she had hiccups then coming in to stats Ralph had hiccups... weird.

Text from mom... job cancelled.

text from brenna... gleee party cancelled.

gosh my night opened up.

To be at home and do NOTHING.

Cuz my parents wont let me drive even with other people.

Drove home.

Wasnt hard cUZ the roads are not that bad!!!!

the world is not ending.

Got on skype and talked to Gareth for almost an hour.

Plans with Erin cancelled.

Plans with ethan didnt work cuz my mom wont let me leave.

Plans to go to the casino with james and sean haha we will see :)

I really liked this snow at first but now I am frustrated cuz its restraining me.

I am excited for twelve days.. summer.. in twelve days :)

Australia.

well basically.

welcome to my life.

hahahaha.

this was random.

Gave me something to do today.

Not that exciting of a day.

just a normal tuesday minus the usual highlight of glee.

peace. :)

Serendipity, fishbowl, and twelve short kids

In 14 days I will be on a plane flying to Dream. My dream to go to Australia.

I still can't believe it.

I am now poor due to the fact that the tickets are pretty crazy expensive.

It is worth it.

God opened a door.

I leaped in.

No hesitation.

Going alone.

adventure.

I can't wait :)

It's funny though.

How much I hate leaving the tri cities ... even just for a few days.

This is home.

Here I have family.

Not just my actual family.

But the friends I consider my family.

I don't know what it will be like in a year when I am off to college.

Hopefully in SO CAL :)

california.

At Azusa Pacific.

Gosh...

SOmetimes I want to know exactly what the future holds and other times its really nice to just float ( LIKE A LEAF) through life getting to experience so much on the way to where you are supposed to be going.

"Its all about the people you will meet, the surprises and the serendiptious moments"

Said a man who walked across the united states.

He set out for adventure with no real agenda.

I wish to go at life like this.

I very strongly would like to travel across country in a hippie van next summer.

first step.

get a hippie van.

find companions.

:)

I know several people who want toooo.

Im in.

This weeeek truly has beeen splendid.

Starting monday non stop crazy happinesss :)

Lots of sleep overs... :) and friends home from college.

and I would have to say ice skating last night was SO fun.

Our friends kinda took over the rink.

Its wat we do.

i loved it.

Passsion for life. hah :)

Even in weak moments... there is always a forward motion to seeek after.

there is always somewhere to go.

I often feel like I cant handle being alone and sitting still.

I always want to be with people.

I find this as a strength and weakness.

My great love for people gives me desire to care about people no matter who they are.

I wish to be like Jesus.

But it can become a weakness when you have to sit down and write an essay or have some quiet time lol cuz then you feeel ancy.

could be a.d.d.

lol not that I know for sure if i have it.

Life a.d.d. i say :)

Today I spent the day with Ashley Wood.

I miss her.

I never see her.

She is wonderful.

We talk about God as He is real.

Its beautiful.

Its nice.

Its not all churchy its just God... this is what he is doing.

This is the good and bad in my life and what God is saying about it.

God is so real.

HAH :)

 I love it.

He just talks and listens...

sometimes we listen..

sometimes we ignore him.

But always we are his.

I got a tattoo for those who dont know yet.

It is on my foot it says

"Always and Forever"

because no matter where I am or whats going on in my life I will always and forever be God's and He will always be with me here on earth and I will live forever with him in heaven.

He spoke that to me this summer.

I will never forget.

I never have to feel alone.

I do often feeeel alone.

Then God changes my perspective and talks clearly to me and I remember I am loved.

I haven't blogged in awhile.

I always have stuff I would like to blog about...

but I have been preoccupied.

and distracted.

and kinda upset.

I dont like to blog when I am upset cuz its pretty transparent.

People seee the sad or mad side of me.

BUT GUESS wat :)

we are all humans.

we all have emotions.

we all feeeeeel.

we are allowed to be upset or angry.

I am usually not.

but I shouldnt feeel like I cant be cuz its not in amber character, ya feel?

Even when I am down.

God picks me up.

GIVES ME A HUG.

hah

and lets me know I matter.

I always giggle.

God makes me giggle.

Even when I am ignoring what he says.

He still loves me.

That is so unhuman.

Human love is so interesting.

:)

With obedience comes blessing.

Thanksgiving.

Give thanks..

I am thankful for a full life.

I am thankful for the spirit of God in me.

Giving me hope and determination to not give up.

How does he do it? lol

God has overwhelmed me with WAY more than I deserve.

Just to feeel loved is more than I deserve.

But I love it

I am starting to hate this whole college thing.

Some of my favorite people in the world are at college and I dont get to see them daily.

Its frustrating.

But its necessry for them to go to school.

So ehhhhh im trying to accept it.

OFTEN

I wish to pause time.

I called it today.

It didnt work.

If I could have one super power that would DEFINITELY BE IT!

no questins asked.

For example

right now I should be reading frankenstien for ap lit.

but well I am writing this blog.

If I could just pause time.

write the blog I would still have loads of time to read.

This blog is kinda just a ramble.

I am tired.

Stayed up late lol

Worth it?

yes.

I love my friends.

Did I mention ice skating was the cutest thing of my life hahah.

it was classy.

If you read my last blog and thought it was me.

well it was not.

it was Ethan.

ignore him hahah

 I posted it anyway.

tricked some people.

sorrry :)

Kaden got a cat.

I want to skydive.

I had roll for dinner cut it into fours then put a bunch of honey on it.

no more squash.

J. sheldon is classy.

I have seen spirited away before i am convinced.

MANANA ES UN DIA ESPECIAL.

somtimes life is weird.

things that i expected

dont happen

things that i never expected

HAPPEN.

hahah simple yet profound thought if you ask me.

Its goood. though..

we decided today that we like change.

I love change :)

more than the garlic parmeson boneless wings at wingstop.

which are pretty freaking goood.

There is snow on the ground.

I love it.

Ill miss the snow if i go to so cal for college.

Thank the Lord for winter break!!!

WElllll this has beeeen kinda random but to end with an encouraging note.

Sometimes I dont feel accepted.

I think somtimes everyone feel that way

At some point you will feel out of place

even though i am convinced awkward is just an unnecessary state of mind that we trick ourselves into :)

SOLUTION.

1. Dont be awkward.

2. Be the person who steps out and smiles or shakes a hand.

its generally much appreciated.

Pray for people when you meet them.
Pray for people as you think about them randomly.

Prayer is beautiful cuz no one knows you are praying for them But GOD knows and he will speak into their life thanks to your prayers!

I neeeeed to pray more.

I want people to have surprise blessing :)

YAY.

have a beautiful sunday evening.

do your homework.

hah

monday. embrace loving people.

:) that my plan lol

even when i know i will be tired.

Love around me.

hmmmmmmmmmm yes :)

PEACE.

Hahah this was not my creation.

"Little dolphins frolicking in the ocean!" Pretty much the best thing...ever.  yeah? i think so ha I am so glad to have the coolest friends ever! ETHAN, KEITH, NICK, AND VERN! they cheered me up so much...and trust me.. i needed it.. Life has definitely been throwing me a bunch of curveballs.  Today I woke up and was really craving an apple but..there WERE NO APPLES! it sucked!! I had to go all the way to Albertsons and there I was cut off by..two MEXICANS!  not that i have anything against them but I was trying to get my APPLES! I think God knew what I needed tho..they got out of the car and apologized to me and then..offered me an..APPLE! oH bOy, "thank you Jesus" (and jose and juan)...They are now my favorite people.ever ha..So i wanted to make apple juice but then i remembered that it makes me constipated. So i didn't hah It really bothers me when people mope around..Just be happy. not to be mean but lifes just too short to be gay. (i just squeaked lol) (literally). Today i forgot that my toilet was broken and i had to go to the bathroom REALLY BAD! so i did the most logical thing, and went in my magazine rack..jk i went in my fire pit. (If i loan it to you and it smells, now you know why). i don't get why the people who supply the shelves in grocery stores wear aprons. it's not like they're going to get dirty. so why wear one!? ... this blog brought to you by the creative minds of ethan dufault, keith nichols and veronica bradly

Why not. :)

Today while eating my lucky charms for breakfast

 I realized I am not a kid anymore and it greatly upset me.

Yes, I was eating lucky charms as kids do.

But thats the sad part...

I was just eating them by the spoonfuls.

as a kid I always played games while eating my lucky charms.

I would try to get different ratios of marshmellow to oat thingies in the spoon so that it would be the same the whole time I was eating the magical cereal.

Of course as soon as I realized this I began to repeat this game I did as a child.

and I felt better :)

It was fun.

hahah

.....

Last night I could not fall asleep because I had the hiccups.

....

I turned in my fun camera at walgreens today. My photos should be ready in about an hour! I cant wait.

....

I LOVE THE TRICITIES.

I love how its like a small town but not at the same time.

How every single time I go to albertsons on the corner of gage and leslie I see people I know :)

But also at the same time there is TONS of people in the store I dont know.

So in reality Its not that small of a world. hah. But it feels like it when you see someone you know who knows someone else and so on...! hah.

Example A. Today while driving to school. I saw Brittney Reed. :) I dont know if she saw me but I saw her. I have not seen her in awhile so it made me very excited lol.

life is so funny life like that.

How you run into people at random moments for a reason

I love it.

Like I probably would have failed the ap stats test today if Ashley Aurand had not happened to be sitting in the library during fifth when I went there to study.

....

Last night I was reading a book by donald miller.

He had a story about his friend name Bob who lived a very inspired life.

 I often read inspiring stories and want to do more with my life.

But I am 18 and I am a student.

What is something big I can do right now?

I feel limited.

Hmmmm I wish to go to Australia. But I cant do that at this moment. soo....

What can I do today?

:)

what can be inspiring or life changing today.

Maybe I am crazy for thinking everyday can be lifechanging but I am convinced there is unlimited possibilites everyday.

The small things matter.

Listen to God's voice.

hmmmm....

The compliment to the person you dont like.

the compliment to the stranger

the compliment to your best friend

The extra gesture of kindness...

share your snack.

Offer your hand.

Give a nice hello.

Smile.

Just think... when someone says hello to you ... you quietly get excited dont you?

I do. hah.

I love it.

No matter who it is.

It just makes me happpy.

The common human connection makes me smile.

When we ignore it we limit relationship.

Why limit relationship.

Sometimes I get shy.

Sometimes I get nervous and dont want to say hi for no reason at all lol

But I never regret it when I do say hello so why not?

Why not...
:) why not...

IF I am willing to say why not for the big things then why not say why not for the small stuff.

Jump out of a plane?

Why not.

I plan to.

Its on my list for the year. Also on my top three life goals. hah.

Today while looking up occupations on richland highs website in consumer ec one of them was ...

SKYDIVING INSTRUCTOR

under the personal characteristics... it literally described ME.

Have to have a bright outlook on life, able to deal with a variety of people, adventure, and other obvious descriptions.

So I decided its my fall back plan.

If running a camp in australia doesnt work out and teaching doesnt suffice I will be a skydiving instructor :)

IN...fluence.

"He is jealous for me,

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I realise just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me."

-David Crowder

Verse 1 "How He Love Us"

 

Originally, I was not a huge fan of this song.

I have changed my mind :).

"Loves like a hurricane" hahah SO TRUE. His love overwhelmes. When I am in my lowest spot he surrounds me on all sides with grace and mercy and LOVE!

When he surrounds me like that my problems become so smalls so unimportant...

I realize that my focus is off and to simply look up to the mountains and know where my help comes from... the Lord the maker of heaven and earth.

He will make these trials and tribualtions not so giant.

They are miniscual compared to the world compared to what is important.

...

I feel like dancing through the halls...

its one of those days.

and I LIKE IT.

Praying for Joy... God answers with an overflow. hah. its crazy.

if I could sing I would belt out my favorite song right now.

Unfortunately I have little confidence in my singing voice and often choose to not sing. hah.

I love love love hearing my friends who have magnifiscient voices singing :)

when I am near the choir room going to drama and I hear all my favorite singers just singing their hearts out for fun. I smile.

I love passion.

I love when people are passionate about what they do.

I love to see dreams come true.

Kelsey harding... :) MODELING! I cried of joy for her when my mom told me she was doing highschool online moving to New York to model ...(and Now TOKYO???)

I was so happy because I know that is her dream.

her dream is beautiful.

Following your dreams is a beautful thing.

I think when  a person does what they were created they will have great influence in their world.

no doubt.

God would not give you a magnifiscient gift to waste.

He gives gifts to share and change the world.

Dustin Waite.

When I saw his rap posted on facebook I watched it and SMILED!

Passion being shown.

He is doing what he loves.

and He is goooood at it.

I am impressed and inspired to do what I love.

a thought.

Famous singers.... and actors.... and athletes... have great gifts..

they have great passion.

Very few use it to influence the world in a positive way.

What if we all were passionate used our gifts for the glory of God or if you dont believe in God

were a good person and influenced people to be good, genuine people.

I dont know if the world will ever have world peace.

and I often call myself a hippee

what with my satchel and all
dont know if I really am.
Dont most hippees do drugs?
I dont.
I could be a non drug doing hippie :)
I have been looking for a hippie bus if you are selling one please let me know!

but the thruth is
 I am passionate about people.

People knowing they matter.

People feeling loved.

Dont get me wrong.

I AM NOT PERFECT.

I am the common hypocrite.

I very often give into what I WANT TO DO.

and focus on myself.

hahahaha

all my blogs are about the same thing.

Its always what I am thinking about.

⁵Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires."

Romans 8:5
I pray daily to have my thoughts on what God desires. Its hard though to not think like most teenagers... I often fall right back into it.
I will not give up though.
Even when I continuously fail
God picks me back up smiling just as big as the first time.
Its normal... to be a teenager.
I want my thoughts to be pure and motivated for the glory of the Lord...
I wish to be more than common..

I need to work on humility....

I was just looking at how many people read my blog.

honestly I dont even know how many it is compared to what it could be or if its alot or not....

HONESTLY it should not matter.

haha.

gosh.  Its not about what people think of me amber marie buchanan. (not lyn) ha

its about the influence God could possibly have through the scriptures and words about Him.

I want my life to be more than just human likenesss. I want to be an influence for a greater purpose in this world.

Its not about me.

Its about you.

  I'd rather inspire with this blog than anything.
inspire you to want to know more about God.
OR that GOd would reinterate what ever he has been trying to get through to you about.
:)
*jump in thoughts*
Last night I went to a mormom dance. hahah
fact: I am not mormom.
I am guessing you could assume that throughh my posts or if you know me.
But I love mormoms! some of my best friends are mormon!
I very much enjoyed myself.
It was a halloween dance! and there was some of the most creative costumes ever.
My three favorite were Nate shoemaker was a locker!!! hahah and when you opened him there was picture of taylor swift on the inside :) classic
and David Fernandez was Clark Kent.
he ripped open his shirt for me to reveal that he was really superman.
hahah
my favorite was the kid who was PERRY THE PLAYTPUS!!!!
His mom made the comstume.
very genius idea.
Also creativity shout out to the kid who wrote book on his face....
he was facebook. hahah that was great.
:)
TONIGHT is OPENING night of the CURIOUS SAVAGE :)!
I feel strangely telling people to come watch a play I am in but if you do watch it I would be very excited!
Its at 7:30 at rhs auditorium. 8 dollars and 6 with asb!
its funny.
I am very myself in this play. NOT haha.
perhaps by you reading my blog you will now be influenced ;) to go see the play hah. jk
But seriously its great fun and we have worked hard. I CANT BELIVE ITS FINALLY HERE.
a quick story then I'll end this rambling.
Okay I generally dont share stories of guys creepily flirting with me but this one made me laugh. hahah!
Today when leaving school
IT was around 3 o clock. Most people were gone or getting into their cars.
As I was walking to my car in the gym parking lot where I park everyday
there was two guys who looked a bit older than highschool kinda creeping around.
they loooked on a mission though so I am sure they had some kind of purpose for being there or they didnt and their plan to act like they had a purpose was working nicely.
They were both walking right in front of me.
They looked back several times.
As they stopped. I walked past... minding my own business.
One of them went
"SPIDERMAN oh man he is the S***"(I dont cuss lol but he did)
I assumed he was refering to my spiderman  backpack that I found at goodwill for 3.50.
so I looked back and gave him a polite nod and smile but kept walking.
Then hahah he was like
"If I was him I would use my web to reel you back in closer"
I just gave an awkward laugh and walked faster.
hahahahahahah
AHHHH! creepy! dont worry i immediately walked to my car and left. but laughed cuz it was really funny.
anyway moral of the story is... beware of creepers who enjoy spiderman as much as 18 year old girls.
:) anyway.
Have a goood BLESSED DAY! if you need prayer hit me up! :)
oh wait coolest thing ever.
Today on my way to school I was praying in my car and I felt like GOd randomly was telling me that we should sponsor a child in youth on fire at school.
So I was planning to bring it up and when I get to youth on fire the first thing ashley says is
"I am passing out this flyer about compassion would you guys like to sponsor a child as youth on fire!!!" I was stoked!!!!!
exciting day.
still feels like morning with the gloom.
Sorry this was so long.
I love you.
Have a fantastic day.
peace!

cheesehead.

"Love will never go out of style"

Ellen Degeneres

I wish I could write a blog everyday.

You know just write down your thoughts daily. That would be nice. Unfortunately, life is very crazy. I like life that way though. I dont think I could handle it if I had a boring life.

God plans adventure for my life and I smile. :)

I love that i dont know what tomorrow brings... or the next five minutes for that matter but when I am living in the presence of the Lord I will never be dissapointed.

This week has been more difficult than others...

Things dont always work out the way you want them tooo.

Im sorry if you have hung out with me and Ive been kind of a bum..

I decided to get over it.

I want to be happy.

God is faithful.

I am so glad.

I wonder sometimes how people live life and deal with death if they dont have God in their lives...

I couldnt.

It makes me understand why there is such a problem with teenage drinking and drugs now though.

If I didnt have a greater purpose, a stronger thing to hold on to it would be much easier to fall in to the pressure of doing something that feels good and is easy.

I wish there was some way to just let everyone know that they are worth more.

Alot of people dont believe that.

Do you know why?

Its because those of us who know we are worth more through God's purpose in our lives dont show others that they are worth more.

We are not loving people.

We are still gosssiping.

we are still focusing inward.

I find myself always talking about my problems and plans when supposedly statistics are that 90% of people you talk to are going through a hard time.

not that I believe all statistics are right.

I believe that could be somewhat accurate.

Everyone is living life.

Life is hard.

Thus meaning

Everyone is dealing with hard stuff in their life.

Yesterday my step mom's brother (Rick) died.

He had cancer.
If you pray.

Please pray for our family.

Especially Laura she lost her mom a little over a year ago and it's been hard.
I love her dearly and I want her to be overwhelmed with God's love.

I have begun filtering in goood.

hah.

Music is more impactful than we think.

Well it is for me anyway.

I can't just listen to love songs without thinking about relationships and being dissapointed that my life is not like that.

When I know God has a plan for me and my future...

Trusting God will last. Trusting love songs will make you end up feeling empty when humans fail.

Even when I dont want to I listen to worship music.

Sometimes I am not in the mood, to be honest.

But everytime I decide to turn that on instead of john mayer.

I am not dissapointed.

Its just like the action of turing it on is a spiritual battle or something.

I think there is something to be said about listenig to music by people who love Jesus.

There is plenty of good worship music that is enjoyable to listen to as a teenager.

Sometimes teenagers are like, "I dont want to listen to hymns; they are so boring"

Well listen to some hillsong UNITED or Generation Unleashed.

Actually I have been searching for some more good bands if you have any recommendations.

music influences life.

It influences how you feel.

choose to listen wisely.

Young life changed my thoughts last night.

I was sad when I went.

Then I became happy :)

I missed KAYLA MINER and CASEY and others I dont get to see much of during the week.

Polvi got me 2 turtle silly bands so that was happy.

And Maggi Jones' words built my spirit up so much. words can not describe.
I love her and the sunshine she adds to my life.

Micky D's was an enjoyable time tooo.

:)

Right now I am craving pretzel balls.

I dont know where to get them.

Once at a track meet. Sienna had them and I ate like 20 and got first in the 800 lol it was jv but I still think they work magic. and I am craving them real bad.

The kid I am currently sitting next to in my consumer ec class at school continuously makes me laugh.

yesterday he bought these crazy work boots offline.

then today he got really upset cuz he saw that a even better pair was on sale.

i could understand his frustration.

haha

Yes I am writing this in consumer ec but dont worry mom I finished all my homework for the whole day.

Well there is only three minutes left then its off to psychology with WESTERFIELD I LOVE HER :)

and to chat it up with zachary stott!!!!

hahah TUESDAY.

today is a good day :)

SHARE LOVE TODAY!

GOd is love.

LET OTHERS KNOW THEY MATTER!

joy.

eXpLoSiOn.

"Live every day like it's the best day of your life"

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Well this is what I like to a call a throw up of amber thoughts. I have often found that this happens when I become upset. My thoughts just pour out like a waterfall of rushing ...water.

But currently I am not upset. I am actually quite happy. High on life if you will.

My current location.

The Richland Publice library.

fact.

I have never been here in my life.

Lie.

I walked into the front once when they first built it but went no farther than the entrance room before that cafe thing even existed. I dont know why. I enjoy the quotes on the wall.

And the fact that there is so many random people here.

Hah that is always my favorite thing about anything though.

People.

Living different stories.

Right next to eachother.

Being involved in eachothers stories without knowing it.

Today I had an epiphany.

Everyone is unique.

No one is living the same story as another person.

They couldnt.

No two people could have the exact same life. Its ironic that I am the one saying this cuz I tend to tell everyone that "We are the same person"

Do you ever find it funny how people have strange obcessions?

I do.

I think people have these obcessions..

one. because they like the thing in which they are obcessed with

two. to individually define themselves among others.

Its nice when someone sees something and thinks of you isnt it.?

Example. when David got me a turtle silly band I was so excited!

hahah. Or when connie got me the turtle balloon animal

and KAyla MINER got me the turtle silly band ring :)

they saw a turtle and thought of me. It makes me happy to know I am in someone else's thought process during the day.

I dont even remember how this turtle thing started....

Probably this summer when Josh Maier, Mic and I decided to buy a turtle... :) it was only 21 dollars we couldnt resist.

The good news is TOMMY PICKLES IS FINALLY AT MY HOUSE! he is a bit of an angry lad.

He once bit hisham.

I blame heesh for tommys anger toward humans.

I am the only one that calls him tommy pickles.

Josh, The father,calls him tommy gun.

Mic, the uncle, calls him HANK.

in rememberence of his childhood turtle.

Today I ate some summer sausage at my fathers home. :) it was good. It was one of those times when you look at what you are about to eat and think you dont have enough then when you eat it, it seems to be way to much... then after you eat it... your like. gosh I am full.... two hours later... I still feel it.

An abundance of summer sausage. not a good plan.

This weekend.

Top notch.

I think I slept roughly seven hours the whole weekend.

But then I went to bed at seven on sunday night so I caught up :)

if you were worried.

In December I got accepted to go on a trip to Australia. :)

My excitement is untainable.

I am weary to say I am for sure going because no one knows what tomorrow holds and something drastic could happen changing alot in my life and making it so I am unable to go on this trip.

Although its perfect.

An answer to prayer.

We have not paid the money yet.

Nothing is for sure.

But its progressing in the right direction.

God has given me desire to be in australia.

God has given me desire to run a christian camp in australia.

He is answering desire and prayer with a tangible journey.

Its through hillsong church. The trip is. Its called TASTE OF AUSTRALIA. Not just a tour but a chance to experience the beauty of God's creation and go deeper with Him.
If everything works out.

And I go.

It will be life changing.

Its already been life changing to see how God works.

God has a brilliant sense of humor :)

Even just today.

Someone was talking bad about another person.

To be honest I didnt know what to say cuz I am not incredibly fond of that person either but I didnt know them all that well so I figured I didnt have room to judge... but I didnt stand up for them either.

So what does God do? hahah well He was listening to this conversation and gave me purpose by seating them next to me later on hah. I smiled as soon as I sat down knowing what God did. They are great person and instead of letting myself pre judge them on others opinions God was giving me opportunity to get to know them personally.

Hmmm there was something else super funnny God did...

OH YAH!

So I decided to join buddy club this year :) so far its been quite an enjoyable experience. I sat with some people I knew and their buddy from last year for the first several weeks.

Then last night we got assigned who are buddy was.

My buddy just happen to be this boy that I grew up with and I know his family! I used to go to the same church as them and we were in the same sunday school class for like 6 years! hah

God would do that.

Bring things around to workout.

hahah I love it.

I had seen him at buddy club, but only really said hi. The people who paired the buddies didnt even know that we used to know eachother!

I. love. it.

I learned today.

actually false.

I continually learn

that I really do love highschool.

Sounds funny I know.

The drama in highschool.

It can be out of hand and unnecessary but then there is the more serious stuff that people go through.

Dont get me wrong I hate that people have to go through hard times... but when you get to help someone or you see how God brings someone out of a low place. How community and friends can change a life. It adds sunshine to my insides.

I enjoy some good ole sunshine in there.

Its needed once in a while. or everyday is even better :)

I have been thinking lately about the whole free will vs predestination debate.

There is alot of opinions.

When it comes down too it. I am unconvinced I have free will. hahah that is kind of a bold statement but let me explain why.

Yah I get to choose but things will always end up how they end up.

end of story.

there is no time travel.

no matter how many times I pray for it.

Or pausing time still does not happen even if I beg God. :)

In a moment that I have a choice. I make a choice.

haha thats pretty obvious.

So what is going to happen is already predestined I am just unaware of how it will come about.

Although I may consider a different choice or even try to make it I will always make THE choice. its always gonna turn out how its supposed to. Even if things go differently then according to plan they were necessary sides to keep us going in the direction we are predistined to go.

I dont mind feeling like I dont actually have free will.
I generally pray alot.

So I trust God will help guide my path. This doesnt mean I just sit around and wait to see what He does. I move I take action. If I didnt take action I would not be on the list to go to Australia in Decemeber :) But I was online at the right moment to see the add and again when Chris was online to tell me I got accepted.

haahah sorry if I am a totally nonsense ball of rambling amber that makes no sense. The whole making sense in my head thing but not on paper is very evident right now.

I have some homework.

And I need to get a new lightbulb for Tommys tank at walmart.

But instead I am going to go to the Akers home and get me some dinner :)

I love them.

Like family.

I miss summer.

and my friends that felt like a family.

I thank God everyday for the friends in my life.

He blesses me more than I could ever ever ever ever deserve.

Today. was. the best day ever.

It started of right at spudnuts with KADEN AND CUEVAS!
the quote on the top is my new life quote.

I believe we can find the best out of everyday and every situation. Even when life sucks God has a plan and purpose so we cant get discouraged or disappointed because we cant see the big picture we just got to trust HE KNOWS WATS UP :)

cuz he does. haha.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Smiles.

LOVE YOU!

Leap of faith? YES! worth it? DEFINITELY! :)

"In him we were also chosen having been predistined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will" Ephesians 1:11

At the Beginning of last Spring..before track really had even started.. God told me to go to Richland High...At first I thought I misheard.

Go to Richland High School like for like school?

YUP.

That was what He was telling me to do.

My first response was uhmmm NO WAY.

It's my senior year.

I have been at Liberty My whole life .. Literally .. since kindergarten.

How could I just leave everything I have worked for at Liberty and all the ammazing friends I have there?

welll God had a plan :)

HE always does.

I like that about him.

soooo....

I took a leap of faith.

My faith was solid in the Lord.

I knew that even if I went to richland and I had no friends that it was still God's plan for me and I was being obedient.

Its only been one month and already God has blown my expectations out of the water.

And surprised me in NUMEROUS ways!

I never thought I would be making friends.

None the less close friends.

Close girl friends.

Gosh.

I joined ten clubs :)

well nine unless you cant my visit to spanish club for the free quasadillas.

So basically my point is God is always right.

Be obedient. He WILL be faithful.

:)

This weekend was my 18th birthday. Sunday October 3rd I, Amber Buchanan, Turned 18 years of age making me an ADULT!

can I tell you its been an emotional weekend for me?

HA!

Example A.

Saturday before my party I was home cleaning my room ( which never ever happens) and I decided to take all the old middle school and freshman year stuff off the front of my bedroom door.

My thoughts went like so...

I am not a kid anymore I should probably finally take this stuff down.

As i am doing such..

with pandora on in the background on a jack johnson station

at that moment

FREE FALLING by John Mayer acoustic version live comes on.

I lost it :)

hahah I was like oHHHH MY GOSH i am gonna be eighteeen! I am not a kid anymore.

I am applying to colleges.

In a year ill be at college.

Then I cried out of excitement for life.

God has this crazy plan for my life and I cant wait.

He has shown me some glimpses...

Australia, a summer camp...

but really it's His plan I never know whats gonna happen but I know if I continue to be obedient that My life will not fail :)

God will make it worth something

I used to always worry about stuff.

Always

But God has put me where I am right now with such purpose.

I am still in shock that I am at Richland Highschool.

and to be honest I dont feel like a new kid.

I love it.

I love everyone there.

You all have made me feeel so welcome.

Young life tonight was ammazing.

I can expect that this year will be the best year of my life yet far.

:)

AND if your wondering how my birthday went... well it was insane. there was like a ton of people at my house saturday night for cake and pinata.

I tried to invite everyone so im sorry if you missed the memo!

then at exactly midnight I walked into the casino.

...and....Won!

9 dollars and 50 cents playing Spanish 21 :) FISHY!

then went to dennys with some GREAT ppl and got my free grand slam!

it was a good night.

God is good.

Life is good.

friends are good.

Never can I be dissapointed with trials because things always get better.

I always am growing and learning new things.

I cant even handle how much I love each day :)

I pray God shows you this overflow of joy.

ACTUALLY!

lightbulb

last week.

at church

I was sad.

what did I pray for?

an overflow of joy :)

what do I have now?

an overflow of joy :)

answered prayer?

I THINK YES!

overwhelmed.

God is love

His grace is more than I deserve.

His grace overwhelms me.

When I expect to come to God and feel guilt

He returns to me with grace.

He opens his arms wide open telling me he loves me.

Despite my sin.

Despite my choices.

Despite my ignoring of him.

He does this for me over and over again

every time

I just sit in awe of how his love is truly unfailing.

If you ask me.

As a simple human none of what God does makes any sense.

He has the whole world.

He is in control

He can do whatever he wants

YET he lets us make our own choices and run back to him when we realize we need him.

He gets so happy to see me.

again.

there is no where else I would rather be.

a week goes by and I find myself slipping or being distracted by the world

God sees this happen in my life too.

I know that all I have to do is talk to him.

I still become afraid he will get mad.

That he wont want me back this time.

...

HE ALWAYS WANTS ME.

always.

without fail he is faithful to be my father and best friend.

Even when I am alone and deserve it.

He doesnt think I should be alone.

He not only holds me so close.

He puts people in my life to love me.

Its overwhelming.

more than overwhelming.

It makes me want to throw out everything in my life that should not be there.

to throw away all my selfish plans.

To give it ALL to God.

All is alot.

It seems that most times when I pray for God to take it all.

I dont let go of everything.

He is more than willing to take it.

Even better He is THRILLED TO TAKE IT.

The other day I got sad.

Then I had an epiphany at physical therapy.

I am sad because I am living for myself.

If I strive to Live for God above all

then I will begin to live my life to serve other people.

My needs will become second and last to others needs.

I want my life to be that way.

Over and over again I become frustrated with the richness in this world.

Oh gosh.

WE are so rich.

Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I had grown up poor.

I am very convinced I will be poor when I am older.

Today is sometimes hard.

Sometimes today I feel insecure or not worthy.

Do you ever look around and think everyone is better than you?

Of course you do.

Its human.

Somtimes I dont feel smart enough,

pretty enough,

funny enough,

strong enough,

confident enough...

there is alot of stuff I will not amount to in every moment.

God calls me to be Amber.

He has called me in a special way.

He has called you in a special way.

We are each an individual.

Why do we keep looking around wishing our lives were different.

When your life has a specific special calling.

Talk to God.

I have found that is what gets me through those moments of insecurity and being unsure of life.

He thinks you are brilliant and beautiful...

He wants to be with you ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

I take comfort in that thought.

It gets me through alot.

I live a very blessed life.

And so do you.

Even when we dont feel like the luckiest person in the room

Look at what God has given you and where you are.

be overwhelmed.