My Prayer.

This, this

why do I keep choosing this.

Hypocritical.

FALLING :).

and confused.

If I was supposed to be going up

where am I going now?

down?

Is it possible to stand still?

Is it possible to hit pause on God?

I never thought so.

But then I sit in church and He comes full on right back to me.

I dont have to beg.

I just have to bring myself forward to hear.

to receive.

He is sooo ready to give.

I know that.

Then why is it so hard for me to put myself in the receiving moood? its not hard.

Prayer?

worship.

a single moment.

I never want to lose who I am or what I am fighting for.

YOU wait.

I distract myself.

Perfect in every way...

every way.

This wouldnt just come along for no reason.

How could I have chosen different?

How could I choose different now?

I DONT WISH TOO.

its the one thing I wouldnt give up for you.

I would give you everything but this...

hypocritical.

I continuely say I would give up everything to follow God.

I would leave.

I would get rid of it all.

I am confident that I would..

Except for this...

this one thing.

God....

why?

why now?

You should have waited.

This timing is perfect but weird..

it all happens for a reason..

I know.

So why are you closing other doors?

I can see the ones you have opened..

thank you.

You always come through in funny surprising ways.

Let me talk about you.

Let me not be afraid.

Let me share.

Give my words and heart purpose in its steps in and out of this.

please God dont let distractions prevail to lead me away but to encourage me into your kingdom bringing others I care about with me.

You are solid.

You wont move.

I can see myself with you.

just not at this moment.

why?

why.. does it leave? the high...

the feeling the passion the push for you and your glory constantly in my life.

I am never satisfied.

never do I feeel like its enough

Moments of perfection are followed with moments of realizing I missed out..

thats stupid.

why cant I just be at peace with every moment that exists in my life.

obviously I cant change them

Obviously I cant go back

wishing backwards doesnt benefit anyone.

Be glad for where you were and where you are.

What if its not where I am supposed to be.

what if I end up regretting everything?

I wont :)

regretting is silly.

You learn

always learning

some things that needed to be learned take longer than others..

haha so its alright.

we are all learning

all going through something

my life feels perfect.

yet im not content with my lack of care for people at the current moment.

I want to care more.

I want my hands to be your hands GOD hands of love reaching out to the world :)))

I want to touch the world.

starting now.

Why cant I??? please.

Thanks for you obvious answers.

I need them.

If it werent for you.. being so obvious... I would begin to question.

I think we should question.

My current questioning of my GOD brought me to even deeper realizations of his truth.

HAHA  OH GoD. how you are always there. you never give up...

Even when I am being a rebellious child.

rebellion as in not wanting to listen to what you are CLEARLY telling me to do.

haha thanksss for the way you put it all together.

always.

thanks for the feeling in my stomach.

thanks for checking up on me like a father.

You are my standard.

I wouldnt have it anyother way.

as usual.

I beg for peace.

YOUR PEACE :)

is all I want.

its all I need.

You are everything.